Lonely Fall
by thi3f
Summary: Directly after Knive's defeat, he's travelling alongside Vash, thinking of his brother. What Knives wants, can Vash give?


Uhm. . . very odd. This is set directly after the end of the series, so if you haven't finished it:  
  
Deep Space Planet Future Spoiler Action!  
  
That's right, you'll find out what happened to Knives. Sort of. A bit. Maybe-okay not really. Anyway, send me feed back if you like it, pipe bombs if you don't. ^_^ Trigun, of course, doesn't belong to me. Blah, blah, blah. And without further ado. . .  
  
  
  
  
  
Lonely Fall  
  
  
  
  
  
"I love you."  
  
Vash twisted around in his seat to face me. "Huh?"  
  
He seemed confused.  
  
What was there to be confused *about*?  
  
"I said, I love you." I twisted a few loose threads that had worked their grimy from the seat's rough fabric in this beat-up relic of a machine and refused to meet his eyes. He even searched for my gaze, his irises so blue and clear that they reminded me of diamonds groping. My head refused to lift itself. Which made me feel even worse. Love ought to be proud and strong. Love ought to be shouted out across the desert flats from the top of a dusty high plateau, arms flung wide to receive the knife-sharp cruelty and brutal buffetting winds of the uncaring world in stark defiance; bellowed bravely, called callously.  
  
I didn't know I could be such a poet.  
  
"What? Why are you smiling? Knives?" Vash demanded, voice lowered so no one else might hear the two brothers in the back of the bus. Milly and Meryl chattered ahead. Meryl. The smile I hadn't been aware of till that moment slid off my face, disappeared somewhere. The rubber floor mats, maybe. I'd check there later. Maybe I'd puree that insurance sales-bitch's corpse and hide it under there, too. Her blood would drain out as red and glossy as the coat my brother used to wear.  
  
I reached out a hand and stroked his arm softly, admiring every aspect about it. Even with the cuts and dirt his skin was so pure and clean. "My brother. My dear, dear brother." My very own angel in disguise.  
  
So very gently, as that is his way, he removed my hand and placed it from where it originated: my lap. His words, even when he spoke, were always so kind. So very kind.  
  
"Knives," Did he know that I could hear the pain in his voice? He had pity, even after all I'd done to him, for me. He hurt, seeing his brother like this. Oh, Vash. . . But wait- he was continuing! I had to listen.  
  
". . .love you too."  
  
Could this be? My heart leapt into my throat and I looked up, hardly daring to hope, to dream, to *live* again. What a combination we would make! The two brothers, angel and demon, together. Black and white Angelic Arms as one! I started in my seat, moving toward my sun and source of life. He stopped me again with nothing more than a hand to the centre of my chest and the smallest shake of his spiky-haired head.  
  
No.  
  
No, not here? Not where the insurance whore could see us?  
  
"Not like that, Knives."  
  
The sun eclipsed.  
  
Darkness fell.  
  
I could do nothing but stare. What else could I do as everything that concerned me crumbled to dust as fine as silt? Would that that silt buried me here, so I wouldn't have to suffer watching him day after day and knowing that.. . .that it was wrong. That every heartbeat I had was wrong.  
  
I love you! I wanted to cry, force him to understand that it wasn't an infatuation, it wasn't a physical lust, it was *love*. Love. Love conquered all, did it not?  
  
"Never like that."  
  
Bull shit, apparently. Apparently when you were standing on your plateau and the wind gusted and you fell and there was no one to catch you, love didn't conquer the gravity. Love didn't bridge the gap.  
  
I met his eyes, saw the rock-hard conviction in them. I hated it. In that moment, I hated him. But finally, rejection faded and I was able to sit back in my chair, lean against the window and watch the dunes as we bounced along. There *was* a gap between us now, I sensed rather than saw it.  
  
He touched my shoulder gently, like a feather brushing over my skin. "Brother?"  
  
Love conquers all. Bridges all gaps. Heals all wounds. I ignored the feathers resting on my shoulders and stared through the glass.  
  
"I'm all right, Vash. I just. . .want to sleep."  
  
He let me alone, then, to go sit up with the two women and laugh and every so often glance over his shoulder at me, obviously pining to help.  
  
Love. What a lie.  
  
Apparently there is one chasm that one love can't cross by itself. No, it needs to be met halfway by another heart. In the middle of the desert on solid ground, I began to tumble away from light, from the sky, from everyone who walked the earth and was whole, and could only pray for the rescuing beat of silken wings. 


End file.
